Takeaways / Observations / Musings:
- Opera singers are trained listeners, they have to keep track of their own instrument, the conductor, the ebb and flow of the bass and the changing meter. It is hard because listening doesn't come naturally to humans, we evolved as babies to scream for help and we carry that through adulthood
- types of listening
- Evaluative - evaluate whether the person is right or wrong
- Interpretive -
- Transformative - when you learn and transform your own audience
- Conversation is almost universally neurologically beneficial. Only two situations where it isn't:
- when we detect a negative or hostile tone
- unsolicited advice - even if we walk away having learned something, we do not like unsolicited advice
- In written form - don't use 'that', keep ideas simple and brief
- conversational narcissism - when we insert ourselves into the conversation
- somebody says their dog died and you say "I know exactly how you feel' is the worst thing you could have said (even if your dog actually die). At the end of this conversation you end up happy because you spoke about yourself, the other person does NOT
- another way out is to withhold attention - if you do, inadvertently the person will ask you for your experience
- An interview is a conversation moderated by the interviewer with a time limit
- in an interview nobody cares how smart the interviewer is, the listener is here to hear the interviewee speak and the interviewer to ask the questions that facilitate the conversation
- Yes, and - Improv is a great tool to learn conversation